Are You a Pessimist? Turn Things Around With This Thought-Changing Strategy

Elizabeth Marglin

by | Updated: November 27th, 2024 | Read time: 4 minutes

Pessimists walk around with a heavy burden, expecting the worst at all times. In the meantime, if anything good happens, it gets dismissed at an anomaly. Good luck with trying to convince a pessimist that the best is yet to come. Their negative outlook has a way of becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy, something they can count on.

Pensive-Looking Woman Sitting With Laptop on Lap Considering How to Stop Being Pessimistic

Pessimism, also known as “learned helplessness,” is described by Martin Seligman, a psychologist and author, as “the giving-up reaction, the quitting response that follows from the belief that whatever you do doesn’t matter.”

At least when you expect the worst, you can’t be disappointed. Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop? Do you tend to think in worst case scenarios? If so, you might be in the league of pessimists, which could be impacting not just your happiness level, but your health.

The negative effects of pessimism on health 

You may be a bit skeptical (most pessimists are) that negative beliefs can actually take a toll on your wellbeing. But among other things, research suggests that pessimistic, negative-minded people tend to be less healthy, less proactive about their health, more apt to die young and less socially and professionally successful than optimistic, positive-minded types.

They have more trouble achieving lasting happiness and do worse in school, sports and most jobs. Pessimists are more prone to stress and elevated heart rate, depression and anxiety, impaired immune function, unhealthy coping mechanisms such as substance abuse and even shorter lifespans.

How to stop being pessimistic

Becoming less pessimistic is a gradual process that involves changing your mindset, habits and responses to situations. According to Seligman, you are born with a happiness set point—an inner “’steersman’ who urges you toward a specific level of happiness or sadness. But depending on your circumstances and personal choices, you can migrate toward the upper or lower span of that range. Some circumstances you can’t change, but given the high price of pessimism, it’s worth boosting your tolerance for positivity even if that means fighting some of your own natural tendencies.

The ABCDE method is a cognitive-behavioral technique you can use to challenge and reframe negative thoughts. The ABC Technique was adapted by Seligman to help you think about situations with more versatility. It’s also highly effective in helping you cultivate a more optimistic outlook. Here’s how it works:

A—Adversity

Identify the adverse event or situation that triggered your pessimistic thoughts.

Example: I didn’t get a response after my job interview.

B—Beliefs

Examine the beliefs or thoughts you had about the event. These tend to skew irrational to overly negative.

Example: I must have flubbed it, and they don’t want me.

C—Consequences

Note the emotional or behavioral consequences of these beliefs.

Example: I feel discouraged and unmotivated to apply for other jobs.

D—Dispute

Challenge the irrational beliefs. Look for evidence that contradicts them and consider alternative perspectives. This is where pedal meets the metal of cognitive distortions, such as catastrophizing or all-or-nothing thinking. Learn to consider alternative explanations for adverse events.

In order to effectively dispute your own pessimistic thoughts, you must first be able to recognize them. Treat your own thoughts as if someone else had said them to you. Often you can better question what other people say to you than question what you say to yourself.

Questions to ask yourself:

  • Is this thought based on facts or assumptions?
  • What is the evidence for the belief?
  • How do you react when you believe that thought?
  • What’s the worst that could realistically happen?
  • Is there another way to view this situation? It’s possible they’re just taking longer to decide or haven’t had time to respond yet.
  • Who would you be without the thought “I feel helpless?” or “I must have done terribly?” Close your eyes and imagine how terribly you did. Now imagine yourself without the thought that you did terribly. Notice who you are without the thought. How does it feel? Liberating? Lighter?

E—Energization

Replace the pessimistic belief with a more rational, constructive one. Trust that you did the best job you could and that with each interview you become more skillful.

Example: It’s not guaranteed I didn’t get the job; I can follow up politely and focus on other opportunities.

Overcoming pessimism

Pessimism often stems from habitual, negative interpretations of events. You are gripped by thoughts that cause suffering and because this is familiar, it seems almost comfortable. Exploring a different way of thinking feels scary, radical and liberating. It almost requires a new identity to go with the new way of thinking. But you can shapeshift your identity and leave behind the identity that’s too small for you—you can outgrow pessimism. Over time, this can lead to taking more chances.

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