Admit it, you’re kinky. In fact, I would dare to wager, most couples that have been together for any decent amount of time have delved into the kinkier side of things on more than one occasion. Anyone who tells you that being married means you’re doomed to a life of vanilla-missionary-only-unenthusiastic-scheduled-night-of-the-week-sex has been doing it wrong, or not doing it at all (if that is the case, please seek marriage counseling; things can be so much better).
As with all business in the boudoir, communication and clear boundaries are crucial to a fulfilling intimate experience. Sometimes, it’s easier to discuss your desires outside of the bedroom. If you haven’t expressed your hidden desires yet, try opening a nice bottle of wine and playing a game of dirty word Scrabble to get the conversation flowing. A couple of carefully arranged tiles can do wonders for getting your message across.
Or maybe you’ve long since established your personal preferences and are ready to advance your sexual exploration. Pop in a DVD highlighting some of the more intriguing positions you’d like to try or a fantasy you’d like to discuss with your man.
You might find that you share the same fantasy, or that just knowing what each other fantasizes about is so hot that you’re perfectly happy with it staying just that: a fantasy. You see, Bombshells, just because the idea of something turns you on, doesn’t mean it needs to be brought to life. It’s imperative that you clearly define where your boundaries are and what you’re comfortable with becoming a reality versus remaining a tool for mental erotic stimulation.
Once revealed, your kinky quotient will probably increase over time. So, what starts as a passion for romance novels about cowboys might turn into full-fledged role-playing. Don’t be shy, go right ahead and buy your man a 10-gallon hat and some chaps, baby! There’s no shame in your game.
It’s important to remember, with any fetish, there are varying degrees of incorporation. It’s not an all or nothing kind of deal. You can enjoy being tied up or spanked without building a full playroom in your basement. Conversely, if you love the feel of latex against your skin, it’s OK to spring for the full body suit and let your inhibitions loose.*
So, ladies, your kink? Have you shared it with your man? If not, go do it. Right now. You can thank me later.
“The Bombshell Mommy” is written by Abigail Blank, romance author and mother of three. Frozen Heart and its sequel, Melted Tears, are published under her pen name: Annabelle Blume. Got a question about how to juggle it all and still be a Bombshell? Email Abigail at email@example.com, connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @Bombshell_Mommy and look for her on Pinterest.
*If your fetish begins to interfere with your ability to engage in what was previously a healthy and thriving sex life, please seek professional help.