I’ve had three kids. We’ve discussed this, correct? This means three distinctly different times I went through the un-glamourous phase of “post-baby sex.” Let’s face it, the overall feeling about post-baby sex is that it’s anything but sexy.
There are all kinds of weird things that happen with your body after you have a baby. You may be worried sex won’t feel the same to your man (if you’re truly concerned, invest in a Kegel exerciser, this will help tone and strengthen your pelvic floor muscles). If you’ve had a c-section, the scar may make you feel self-conscious. Then there are the strange things that happen with your boobs if you’re breast feeding. Engorgement, leaking, mixed emotions about their purpose, etc. Changes in estrogen levels can cause vaginal dryness and a decreased libido. And, of course, there’s the lack of sleep wearing you down.
Don’t despair, Bombshells! This is a very short-lived period of time. You can turn it into an opportunity to build on the emotional aspects of your intimacy. Together, you can get to know your post-baby body; explore the new womanly contours, celebrate the power of your body in its ability to have grown another human being in a mere 10 months, and create an entirely new definition of what makes YOU sexy. In fact, some women find they become more comfortable and confident in bed after they’ve had a baby, empowered by the sheer wonder of what their body as accomplished.
The truth is, your man loves you just as much as he did before, probably even more now. He isn’t hung up about the new stretch marks on your tummy or the fact that your breasts leak when you orgasm (in fact, he probably does a little victory lap when that happens), and you shouldn’t be either. As I’ve said so many times before, your man wants to have sex with you.
With all of the distractions of a new baby, it can be very easy for a valley of distance to grow between you. Don’t let that happen. Remember that sex, while immensely fun and physically gratifying, is also an important part of keeping your intimate emotional connection alive. Read a steamy romance novel, watch a sexy DVD, use generous amounts of lube and remember how it was you got that new baby in the first place.
“The Bombshell Mommy” is written by Abigail Blank, romance author and mother of three. Frozen Heart and its sequel, Melted Tears, are published under her pen name: Annabelle Blume. Got a question about how to juggle it all and still be a Bombshell? Email Abigail at email@example.com, connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @Bombshell_Mommy and look for her on Pinterest.