At some point, everyone feels anger. It might manifest as yelling or lashing out. Sometimes it’s a quiet simmering. Often, we enter a “hot state” where we’re not thinking with the clarity we otherwise would.
There are arguments for anger (it can spur us to action; think Gandhi) and against anger (it’s a misguided manifestation of unhappiness and fear). Either way, we want to have a handle on our rage.
Self-regulation helps. Don’t be put off by the clinical term. It just means being able to manage your impulses—thoughts, feelings, behaviors—so that you can put them to use as you wish, instead of letting them whip you around. Doing that is anything but simple though (anyone else kick themselves after snapping at their kid/partner/parent/friend?).
The good news is that there are pleasant ways to train yourself into self-regulation. One is yoga. The reason is three-fold. One: Yoga’s mind-body focus sets you up for observing yourself, both through its exercises and its underlying philosophies. It’s easier to get a handle on your impulses if you can recognize them. Two: Yoga can positively channel your angry energy, particularly if your practice incorporates both poses and rest. Three: Yoga uses breath-work, which can regulate your nervous system, mission control for whether you want to fight or hug.
Try these four steps, in the prescribed order, to help tamp down your temper—whether you’re angry in this moment or not. The sequence takes 20 minutes, tops, but the effects can last all day. The more often you do the exercise (or yoga in general), the better you’re likely to be at keeping your fury in check.
1. Move
Doesn’t matter what your activity is, but make it fairly vigorous and do it for at least 5 minutes (definitely longer, if you’re enraged): jumping jacks, jogging in place, vinyasas, arm or leg movements. The point is to channel your energy/anger/irritation into something physical. If you want to practice simple yoga asana, stand with your feet a stable distance apart and your arms at your sides. Lift your arms out then overhead as you inhale, and drop your arms back to your sides as you exhale. Repeat as many times as you like. Next use your exhales to sit back into an imaginary chair. Repeat as desired.
2. Breathe
Spend at least five minutes slowly breathing. Gradually allow your inhales to become fuller and your exhales to become more complete (if lengthening your breath creates stress, just breathe as feels comfortable). Draw all your attention to the sensations created with each part of each breath. Envision your muscles relaxing with each exhale, which can help them do exactly that, physiologically attenuating your wrath.
3. Consider
Keep a comfortable cadence to your breath. Slow and steady breathing helps calm darting thoughts, or at least space them out. Spend a few minutes noticing what comes up in your mind. If you’d been angry earlier, you might feel less so now. Simply notice any thoughts that arise. Let ’em keep coming.
4. Accept
Spend at least five minutes just allowing yourself to be. Lying down works best, followed by sitting, but if you must stand, it’s better to stand than not follow this step at all. Try to feel compassion for whatever thoughts and judgements continue to arise—and notice the storylines you have built around them, which is key. Our life experiences inform our storylines, and our habits reinforce them.
Following this four-step practice helps create space to deconstruct what’s informing your anger, by recognizing your storylines and habits, and then accepting them without acting on them in ways you might later regret.
Mitra Malek is a contributing editor for Yoga Journal and has taught yoga regularly since 2006.