The present has arrived/and you are in it. Your heart/
is pumping. Your breath moves/in and out of your lungs without/
anyone’s help or permission. / Let go of everything else.
This fragment of Terri Kirby Erickson’s poem “What Matters” says everything you need to know about being present. The poem reminds us to pay attention to the immediacy now, notice one’s sensations, be mindful of breathing, and let go of thoughts and other human distractions.
Being present is essential any time of year, but is critical during the holidays, with their attendant overwhelm, financial pressures, loneliness and triggering traumas.
Through coming into the present moment, we can find some degree of solace and even joy amongst life’s extravagant impermanence. While reams have been written about mindfulness and being here now, we’ve distilled how to be more present into four major key aspects.
How to be Present in the Moment
1. Rein in your mind
Eckhart Tolle, a spiritual teacher and author of the bestselling Power of Now, says “presence arises when we free ourselves of incessant thinking and unconscious reactivity, rolling back the ego, so our essential self can shine through.”
Getting lost in the quicksand of thoughts leads to self-absorption, the opposite of being present. To counter thinking, put your attention on your surroundings. What do you see, hear, smell, touch and taste? If your mind is still flailing, notice whether the thoughts are moving ahead to the future or returning to the past. Simply note the orientation by labeling the thought future or past.
Observe the thoughts that pull you away again and label silently to yourself “thinking” and come back into the here of where you are. Or if you are feeling emotionally charged, label the emotion, such as anger or sadness or frustration. Labelling the emotion tends to defuse the power.
Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn, one of the earliest researchers and promoters of mindfulness meditation, describes the process as “paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.” To label is not to judge, but simply to witness. This kind of neutral witnessing is healing in and of itself.
2. Tune into your senses
As the poem suggests, paying attention to the body is one way to come fully into the moment. Notice your heart pumping. Observe the rhythm of your breath and see how full you can make your inhales and exhales.
If you are still struggling to listen to your body, and put your mind on the back burner, ask yourself, “Where are my feet right now?” Feel your feet on the floor, the earth, the bed. Use that tactile information to ground into the moment, drawing power and vitality up from the support of the earth, feeling the contact you have with something much larger than yourself.
3. Focus on one thing at a time
“Chop wood, carry water,” that old Zen saying, is perhaps relevant even more in these modern times, even though very few people living in the first world chop wood or carry water. In essence it means to become fully absorbed in the task at hand. To not multitask, to not try to over accomplish. The person attributed to the saying chop wood, carry water, Layman Pang, a Buddhist in the Zen tradition who lived from 740–808, says this before that famous phrase:
My daily activities are not unusual,
I’m just naturally in harmony with them.
Grasping nothing, discarding nothing.
In every place there’s no hindrance, no conflict.
To focus on one thing at a time is to be in harmony with your daily activities. If you need to respond to email, do that, but don’t add in double screening and listening to music and a podcast all at the same time. Embrace the task at hand fully.
My supernatural power and marvelous activity:
Drawing water and chopping wood.
4. Invoke gratitude
To be grateful is to be fully cognizant of the preciousness of life, including your own. It is to wholeheartedly participate in belonging. As the poem says, “The present has arrived/and you are in it.” When you participate, when you belong, when you are grateful for whatever daily activity is at hand, you are attuned to what the author and teacher Toko-Pa Turner calls “the holy moment of life’s becoming.”
Fostering gratitude is important because our minds tend to default to negativity; gratitude prevents anxiety, rumination and negativity from smothering our lives like a layer of fog. Gratitude lets us resource an inner sense of serenity, a sense of harmony, even when things aren’t going well on the outside.
How to be Present: Bonus Strategy
If you haven’t had the chance to watch the amazing masterful documentary on Netflix called Stutz, by Jonah Hill, run, don’t walk to a sofa nearest you. The documentary tracks the wisdom of Jonah Hill’s therapist, Phil Stutz.
Here is, compliments of Stutz, a bonus practice for being present. Stutz calls it the great antidote to life’s ills, the Grateful Flow.
- Think of 3 or 4 things you’re thankful for. Make them simple things like, “I’m grateful I had a good teacher in the 2nd grade. I’m grateful I had enough money to buy lunch. I’m grateful the elevator works.” Say what you’re grateful for slowly, out loud, and be specific.
- As you do, try to feel the gratefulness right around your heart. Once you’ve done that, remain aware of the force in your heart but stop thinking about specific things.
- Feel the gratitude as an upward movement or force. Feel your chest really soften. As it melts, feel the presence of otherworldly compassion and giving. Don’t try to understand it or define it, just feel it giving you everything. Let it in.
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