Sex, Love and Videotape

Abigail Blank - The Upside Blog |

by | Updated: December 3rd, 2016 | Read time: 2 minutes

We hear all the time that men are visual creatures and that they’re stimulated sexually by visual images. This is a completely true statement. What I think gets overlooked is, while women are typically sexually stimulated by actions or words that speak to the emotional parts of their brains, they are undoubtedly turned on by a hot guy in his birthday suit. Think about it. Channing Tatum isn’t über popular because he appeals to our intellectual side, OK?

This is the biggest so-called fact recited when the topic of adult films comes up. In reality, just as many women enjoy watching two (or more, whatever floats your boat) attractive people engaging in some seriously sizzling sexy times. To say we aren’t stimulated by sexual imagery is restrictive and, frankly, diminishes us as fully developed sexual beings. The worst part about this preconceived and narrow-minded notion is that women who actually like adult films are made to feel as if there is something wrong with them.

I will shout this from the rooftops as loudly as I have to: There is no “right” way to be sexy. So, if you wanna pop in a DVD to ignite the fire for you and your man, don’t be embarrassed. There’s no shame in your game, girl.

The greatest thing about adult films is that there is something for everyone. Maybe you like it soft and subtle, with a huge helping of romance. Maybe you like it raunchy and rude. You might like to watch the ultimate fantasy adult film star, or you could be more comfortable with a more realistic representation and someone who looks a little more like you (that is, unless you’re Barbie, but I digress).

Maybe you’re new to movies or my little speech has inspired you to try out your voyeuristic tendencies. There are some great titles available at to satisfy your curiosity.

Sinclair Institute has a tantalizing selection of DVDs including The Art of Oral Loving, The Couples Guide to Great Sex Over 40, the 4 DVD set The Better Sex Video Series Sexplorations.

If you’re looking for something more, ahem, instructional, California Exotic Novelties offers the Erotic Sex Positions Educational DVD for Couples. You can discreetly order any of these spicy titles and more at If you have a DVD you’d like to recommend, please tell us about it in the comments.

“The Bombshell Mommy” is written by Abigail Blank, romance author and mother of three. Frozen Heart and its sequel, Melted Tears, are published under her pen name: Annabelle Blume. Got a question about how to juggle it all and still be a Bombshell? Email Abigail at, connect with her on Facebook, follow her on Twitter @Bombshell_Mommy and look for her on Pinterest.