Six years ago when I was pregnant with our now 5-year-old son Phoenix, I had the best pregnancy ever, as far as my health and the health of my baby were concerned. But Sisters, I was sick as a dog, and I couldn’t sleep to save my life.
I wasn’t anxious. I wasn’t feeling uncomfortable because of my belly. I wasn’t fearful. I was A-W-A-K-E. Every night. All night. For three months straight. For my entire last trimester.
Now if you’ve ever been sleep deprived, you know that at first it’s no big deal. You may be irritable or spacey or just plain tired, but usually you can kick it into gear with adrenaline and some chocolate or spirulina or yerba mate tea. But if you can’t sleep for 90 days””that’s a whole different story.
I slept just two hours every 24 hours (between 8 a.m. and 10 a.m.””totally bizarre). But I had a wicked positive attitude about it. I chose to. Because the alternative (getting angry or depressed or feeling hopeless), well, sucked. So I made a decision to make the most of it. I wrote a lot. I worked a lot. I cleaned and organized a lot. Man, my house was clean!
One of the repercussions of my odd sleep pattern was that I couldn’t drop off my daughter Sagey, then 18 months, at preschool. Because it was my sleepin’ time! And I hadda grab it while I could.
I’d sheepishly show up at pick-up time, not knowing any of the Super-moms because I was so tired and out of it to actually have conversations with them, and I felt judged by them, even though they hadn’t said a word.
I remember saying to myself, “With Phoenix, it’ll be different. I’ll drop him off and pick him up and I’ll be friends with the Moms. It won’t feel like this. I won’t feel left out and judged. This will get better. I have hope.”
Phoenix did go to the same preschool, and I wasn’t pregnant then or tired, but still I didn’t connect with the other moms. Our vibrations were just different. No chemistry. I found myself saying, “Well, I’m gonna have more kids, so there’s still time and hope for me to connect with these moms.”
Now, my twin 21-month-old sons go to the same preschool. Do I drop them off? Yep. Pick “˜em up? Yep. And after a lotta yoga over the last 12 and a half years since my first-born went to the same preschool, I have clarity about the whole “meeting friends at my kids’ preschool” thang.
First of all, I’ve realized that I love and adore my many friends and don’t see them enough. Why should I feel the need to make more?
Second, I did meet one of my dearest and closest friends, Missy, the very first day of preschool orientation, back when both of our first-born children started attending. We will be friends for life. Our friendship is effortless, joyful and fun. What a gift.
The lesson? Try easy. Don’t judge —yourself or others. And when you see a pregnant Super-mom, cut that Sister some slack. We all go through a lot during pregnancy, whether we show it or not.
Have the best day ever!
Taylor plus 5
Taylor Wells, M.A., M.Ed., RYT, owns Prana Power Yoga, Inc., Super-mom.com and Prana Super-mom Consulting. She is also a Boston Herald columnist and blogger, United Nations Yoga Peace Ambassador, activist,and happy Super-mom of 5 kids. She is the author of the“Best Life Ever” blog at Vitacost.com.