Mother’s Day is great in concept. A little time out, a day to be appreciated and to show your appreciation. Television commercials abound that either act as great instructions for those looking for gift ideas for the “mom” in their life or as a stark reminder that you are a single parent. Don’t let this get you down. There are so many ways to ensure you have a great Mother’s Day all on your own. Don’t fall into the trap of thinking you’ll be missing out if you’re a single mom.
Take the reins
If you sit around waiting for someone to make you feel special you’re not much different than the kid who holds their breath until they pass out. Make plans for yourself; make it everything you want. Schedule a massage and a mani-pedi. Make brunch reservations at your favorite restaurant. Buy yourself your favorite flowers, have dinner delivered and fill the day with whatever makes you feel special, relaxed or fills up that self-love cup.
Single mom or not, sometimes expectation versus reality is a little harsh, so don’t sit on your hands and wait to be disappointed. No body knows how to celebrate you better than you, so do it. And if you don’t know how, spend some time journaling leading up to the day and get to know yourself a little bit more. Sometimes, as a single mom, you can forget what it’s like to want something for yourself. Don’t let this Mother’s Day be another time you put yourself on the back burner.
Lead by example
Teach your kids how to show appreciation for others by explaining to them why days like Mother’s Day are important. Express to them how they can show their appreciation for you in ways that are accessible to them – set aside time for them to make you cards if they are little; tell the older ones to make you coffee and let you sleep in; take them to the mall and give them each 10 dollars to buy you a little gift that is from the heart. Whatever it is that is your love language, teach them how they can speak it. You're not only doing yourself a favor but you are raising kids that will grow up to be thoughtful, considerate and appreciative friends and partners.
Celebrate other moms
Be honest, there are plenty of other moms you know who are not feeling the love on Mother’s Day. Don’t get stuck in the negative feelings you might have (they are normal, so don’t bottle them up, but feel them and then let them pass, just don’t set up shop and live there). The best way to get some perspective is to think about how you can celebrate others.
Whether it’s your mom, your extended family members, or even a group of women you know who are single moms, are suffering in the throes of infertility, or who are separated from their kids for whatever reason (maybe they’re across the country in school or with their other parent), take initiative and create a fantastic way to celebrate these women in your life.
You can make small gift sets with coffee mugs, a hydrating face mask, a bottle of bubble bath and a card. A small thought can make a big difference in someone’s life, especially on a day they might not feel like they are a part of.
Do you, girl
You know that thing you have been wanting to buy but you just are not able to justify it? You know that place you have been wanting to go but you keep saying you will do it when there is more time or you have more money or there is someone to go with you? You know that life experience you have been putting off until the kids are older? Yeah, do that thing, go that place, experience that moment.
You are constantly told to do everything for your kids, to put your own wants, needs, and desires off until there is that elusive “better time.” Well, guess what? That time is now, because tomorrow is not promised.
And more so, you know what kids need more than the latest handheld gaming system or a constantly available chauffeur or a mom who drops everything at their beck and call? They need a mom who is fulfilled, who is emotionally and physically healthy, and who shows them how to live a life of self respect and self love.
No one says that thing you do is something you have to do without your precious little ones! By all means, make it a family day, but do it and do it now because you will never regret having done it but you will always regret if you never try.